The snowflake of emotions.
What is common between a snowflake, DNA, thumbprint, and grief? They are unique. The spouse holding your hand, the friend who is bringing you food, the person who is comforting you over the phone can help you face this emotion, but no one can truly understand your unique experience.
People can grieve for the same cause, and yet they experience it differently. Similarly, others react to your grief in diverse ways. People can be compassionate and envelop you in a hug for hours. Or they can sympathise with a handful of words- “I am sorry to hear that”.
It is a mere illusion that people around you will tell you the exact words you want to hear. They don’t know your grief the way you do. That’s why one should be cautious in sharing their despair with others. You don’t know if the reaction would align with your expectations.
Grief is a lonely emotion and makes you fragile towards words, feelings and actions.
Two people would wipe my tears, hug me tight and kiss my forehead. They knew exactly how to make me feel better instantly. No bribes, no lavish promises, just three gestures. Today I lost one of them. The one who used to say “don’t cry my child” and give his pristine white handkerchief to wipe the trail of tears.
I am holding on to the one who remains. I wipe her tears and whisper words that feel hollow. Her unique grief is tenfolds because she has lost her life partner of 65 plus years. I remind her seldom that one-day emotions won’t weigh her down, and the heart will strengthen itself. I genuinely believe these affirmations. But till the day arrives, I will continue to embrace her and help face the grief that runs in our veins.
One cannot escape any part of grief. It must be experienced in its entirety. Remember that your grief is as unique as a snowflake. So take your time in processing it and customise your way through it.